A week from tomorrow is my birthday. Already, there’s fireworks going off in my head. I can’t wait. I’ve always loved my birthday.

I don’t usually spend my birthday with big crowds. I usually do dinner with my close friends and spend the rest with my family. Rarely, actually only twice, did I do the whole party thing. Not that I didn’t like it, but I guess birthdays to me are about being content and at peace with how your year turned out. For me, I love having a moment by myself reflecting on my year.

This year, however, I feel like although it’s only been a year (obviously) since my last birthday, I can’t help feeling like five years went by. It’s almost like I really grew up, as weird as that sounds. Within the year, I adapted to university, worked my first job, and voted for the first time. I truly grew up.

Having said that, this year, dare I say, has been the best year of my life. Not necessarily in terms of fun, but in that I learned alot about me; not in the sense of confidence or learning about what I’m capable of but more in the sense of emotions. I realized this year that I’m a lot closed up than I’d like to think I am, a lot fearful of the future than I let on, and a lot more insecure than I like to say I am. Disturbing that I’m finding out I’m a hyprocrite and be happy about it eh? But I am, I think there were a lot of aspects and emotions I had to confront this year and I found the journey thrilling. Not completely done with the journey yet, but every lesson as rewarding as the last.

This is why a part of me is not looking forward to my birthday. This is the happiest time in my life and I just wish time would stop. School may not be the most interesting, especially Crim, but I find myself always looking forward to school. Love life is nonexistent but I like knowing I don’t need someone special to look forward to the weekends or feel like my life’s complete. Family is boring, but I smile each day at least once with just the thought of them. Friends are busy, but all I have to do is call and it’s like the past month of not talking never occurred.

I just want time to stop. Right now. at 11:15 on Novemeber 12, 2008.

No more aging.